Do you ever have those moments where it feels like God has taken a sledgehammer and knocked you upside the head with it?
Towards the end of To Save a Life, I definitely got one of those. It wasn’t lovely. It hurt. Emotionally, spiritually, and I’m sure I felt the physical reverberations of it.
At that point in the movie everything is falling apart for Jake. I’m not gonna give away the spoilers here, but basically, Jake starts feeling like everything he has done, all the trust he has placed in God is shattered. He goes to Pastor Chris’ house and starts telling him everything, ranting about it all.
And then came the pre-sledgehammer statement.
Pastor Chris asks, “Have you prayed about all this?”
I suddenly felt rather uncomfortable. Of course this shouldn’t affect me, I pray every day, generally through-out the whole day… this doesn’t really affect me right?
A few minutes later, we see Jake at home thinking, eyeing all his dreams posted around his room that are potentially about to come to an end.
Suddenly, something got caught in my throat. My body got all tense, and I knew something was about to hit me.
Clear as a bell, God asked me ‘When was the last time you’ve just let out everything to me?”
I tried to ignore Him and continued watching the movie. But God wouldn’t let up. By the time I got home, I was using everything I had in me to hold myself together.
I got to my room, shut the door behind me, and said ‘Fine God, it’s time to pray.’
Truth is, with all this crap that’s been going on in my life lately, I haven’t actually talked to God about it. I’ve mentioned I’m frustrated, prayed that things would smooth out, but I hadn’t actually shown God my heart.
I tend to be one of those people that remain completely composed while praying. I hide all emotion, and just pray the facts… and more than anything, I HATE praying for myself.
So I sat down on my bed, all composed and everything, said the word Father, and lo and behold, Niagara Falls returned. I think I sobbed for a good hour, just pouring out my entire heart to God. And at the end of it… I felt so much peace. I couldn’t believe it.
I think that’s how a lot of us operate. We get so caught up in the things that are going on, we never sit down to really talk to God about it. Either we’re overtaken by fear, or driven by the need to fix it all ourselves.
But the thing is, God wants to give us victory, He wants us to be humble enough to say ‘Hey dad, I can’t do this on my own. I can’t get through, and I need you to give me strength and guide me.’
Prayer is our most powerful weapon as Christians. It’s our one-on-one conversation with God. When we pray, the possibility exists of moving mountains. So why don’t we pray? Why don’t we truly use that power?
If you haven’t really told God your heart lately, I would urge you to do so. You might be surprised at what comes from it.