Today we talk, no matter how hard it is to tell our stories…

I spoke on the need to break the stigma. Last year, my message was positive and driven.

This year, this is the year it’s tough for me. Because I feel like I’ve been beaten. I’m worn out, I’m struggling, and I feel like every day is a fight.

I don’t talk about it because I still feel like I don’t have the right to. Even in knowing that this stigma needs to be broken, I get caught up in it sometimes.

I feel like life is flying by at full force and I’m struggling just to make it out of bed each day. Despite being on medication, there are points when this still gets the better of me. When life is already kicking me when I’m down, it makes it harder for the medication to keep me on solid ground.

There are times when I stop asking for help, when I refuse to go up for prayer at church because I feel like I will be judged for crying so much and looking so broken all the time. I hold back because I’m afraid of what others will think. I hold back because I feel like after a while, everyone stops caring. I hold back, because I don’t know where to go for support.

This year, I’m feeling strangled by financial burdens caused by this illness, caused because I couldn’t get help. I’m feeling stressed because of goings ons and lonely because my friends are all in places I can’t really see them much.

But this is what Let’s Talk is about. And this is why there is hope. This is about learning that it’s okay to talk, it’s okay to share and it’s okay to seek help. Because no matter how bleak it may seem, we are never in this alone.

So this year, I want you to share what’s going on with you. This year, I want you to tell me how you’re struggling, and through this, we can start working on breaking that stigma.

So come on, Let’s Talk.

6 thoughts on “Today we talk, no matter how hard it is to tell our stories…

  1. I've been put on anti-anxiety medication for a brief period of time because I my heart rate often hits between 70 – 90 beats per minute. This has been happening off and on for the past four or five months but I have been having issues with it consistently for the past three days (minimum. I didn't actually bother to count). It's all circumstantial. Nothing that can be done about it. Add to that the swinging moods, the fact that people are distancing themselves when they realise how unstable I am (and frankly I can't blame them) and the fact that I'm breaking away from my family willfully despite longing to do the exact opposite and then finding out I'm not going to have the one thing I was really wishing to sort out and break away from and…

    I know I'm in a really blessed financial position now that can just strengthen me, but it feels…

    *shrug* I'm tired.

  2. Times get hard sometimes and I understand not wanting help or to talk. I am one of those people who when I get into a rut I tell no one. I make a happy face, make a joke, and deal with it on my own. I keep almost everything inside. People say it is better to talk things out, but I am never really able to.

    This year, well these past couple of years have been a roller coaster. I went through some pretty crappy times and had to deal with rebuilding myself after them. The whole time I was going through it no one knew. Now I am finally back to some of what I used to be but now I am struggling with making a new life. I have noticed that most of the people around me are not “good” and really don't much care about me. I am done with college and feeling inadequate and ill prepared for the future. I have a relationship that I don't tell most about because it is not allowed in my community, and I can't manage to tell my parents because it will hurt them and they are the closest people to me. I have a dream to chase but I am not running. I have all these things on my plate and the way I deal is before I go to bed I convince myself that things will look differently in the morning. I wake up in the morning and I tell myself today I must make a step, and life is pretty good, I just have some hurdles to climb.

    1. That’s the hardest part, is pushing through when everything seems bleak. My thoughts are with you during your struggles.

      Thanks for sharing, Daniella. Sending prayers of strength your way during this.

  3. Like Dave, I did not know the depth of the struggles that you're currently facing. Even at a time when you are working to overcome, you still show concern and regard for others by asking them to share their concerns with you. That's the mark of an extremely caring person, someone that anyone is lucky to call a friend. Just know that for as much as you look after others, there are those who will do the same for you. You're never alone 🙂

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