I’ve lost count of the number of things that have ranged from incredibly trying in my life, to being absolute and utter hell. The fiasco that was my job at the video game store falls into the latter. It’s been two years, and for the longest while, I spent my time obsessing over finding the reason. I prayed for God to reveal the reason. I pushed myself to move forward believing that I needed to find the reason; that somehow if I couldn’t see the reason, then it would have all been for naught.
I wasn’t alone in that belief. There were those who told me to seek after God for a revelation of the reason, and I’ve known many, many people who believe the same thing in their situations. They become desperate to know why everything fell apart, why people died, why they faced the challenges they faced.
For a while, I thought the reason for everything that happened was to land me my job as a reporter. After all, it came a couple months after things fell apart at the retail job, so it just fit.
But saying that God’s purpose in our lives temporarily going to hell was simply so that I could get a job offer at the workplace I wanted is kind of doing a discredit to God. It would mean believing that God saw no other possible way for his plan to be completed than to almost have us lose everything. There was no lesson to be learned in that – I’ve lost everything before, I already knew what it was to be grateful for what we had. The rollercoaster it sent me on didn’t help Scott or I in our lives either.
Besides, even if all that hell really was about this one job, then when I got it, both Scott and I should have felt peace over God’s plans being fulfilled. I truly believe that door was opened when it was meant to be, but it wasn’t connected. It wasn’t the reason for everything else.
The truth is, there are many things that happen in our lives that we will never know why they were allowed. We can speculate all we want, and sometimes, we can see good things and lessons that come out of it. But we aren’t necessarily ever going to know the WHY; at least, not until we meet God at those pearly gates.
That WHY, that ‘reason’ can be dangerous. Or at least, the hunt for it can be. So many spend so much time searching for that answer, searching for that reason. We become so desperate for that answer that it can take priority in our thoughts and in our lives. It consumes us, and before we know it, it becomes more important than focusing on God.
If we want to move forward in our lives, we need to let go of that constant need to let go of seeking after the reason. We need to let of of the obsession of needing every single thing in our lives to have a reason.
One thing I’ve learned through my incredibly rocky relationship with God, it’s that when God wants you to hear something or to see purpose, or reason, He’s going to make sure that you see it. If you’re supposed to know the reason, you’re going to find it out. And if God feels that His greater cosmic plan is bigger than giving you His reason, you’re not going to find it no matter how hard you look.
Everything happens for a reason; if we believe that, then we also need to trust in that, even when that reason is beyond what we can see or our scope of understanding. Because when we trust that, it also means we believe when God says He has a plan, and that He will lead us down that path.
No-one ever said that this would be easy. When it comes to trust issues, I’m on the board of directors of that club. But a big part of trusting God means giving up the reigns, even when you can’t understand or see a purpose.
You don’t need to understand a reason to move forward in life. If we obsess over finding that reason, that explanation, we prevent ourselves from living our lives. We become trapped in the past, trapped in our own minds.
If you believe everything in your life has a purpose – then live like that. Don’t be held back by not knowing.