Tackling Control Issues Ruled by Fear

I am a control freak. It’s not fully my fault. As my mother and I discussed the other day, I am a control freak who was raised by a control freak. It makes for a terrible combination. One of the biggest problems with this is it really gets in the way of living by faith. Have you ever seen the OneTimeBlind skit about the girl who puts Jesus in the driver’s seat, but then keeps taking back control over the[Read more]

For I know the plans I have for you…

I remember running into someone I had known before my life changed drastically from my mental breakdown. We spoke briefly about the struggle I had faced and why I left the Christian camp I worked at because of it. Noticing the tattoo script on my arm, they quickly said ‘Let me guess, Jeremiah 29:11?’ When I said yes, I received a knowing smirk and an eye roll. I know why that specific verse caused such a reaction. The frustration I[Read more]

Is a crisis of faith a bad thing?

crisis of faith

At the end of 2015, I made a confession about something that had terrified me to both face and admit. I was having a crisis of faith. Everything I thought I had believed about Christianity and church was flipped on its head. Bitterness from hurts I faced was rearing up and overpowering my drive to live a Christian walk. My foundation shook when I realised I could no longer reconcile the Jesus of the Bible with the church I saw[Read more]

Love thy neighbour

Neighbour

Love thy neighbour. Those of us raised in Christianity are taught this simple statement as one of the fundamentals of the our faith. Its simplicity, however, is limited to its concept. Application of it is far more difficult than we often perceive. This commandment is not limited to Christians, of course. It is echoed in sentiments like the golden rule, while countless other religions have similar statements. It is something, I believe, foundational to achieving not just actual peace, but[Read more]

Control is an illusion worsening anxiety

control

Living by faith when you are a person who needs to be in control is difficult. Although there are many reasons driving the need to constantly be in control, it is not something easily turned off. In my case, the overwhelming need to be in charge, to control my life, is a mixture of the effect of my mental illnesses and unresolved issues from childhood. If I am in control, I cannot be hurt and I only fail based on[Read more]

When they go low, I will go high

As an INFJ, it is incredibly easy for me to feel discouraged and downtrodden when I feel like the fight for humanity is losing. Equally so, it is that very discouragement driving me forward with a passion to keep fighting for change and encouraging people (myself included) to be better and to do more. I won’t say we are at a pivotal point in history because there will always be moments in which the entire direction of humanity changes. But[Read more]

Finding my faith revolution

Two weeks ago, I sat on my couch sobbing in my husband’s arms as I realized that the faith I had been raised in and the faith I connected with were not entirely one and the same. I had known something was different about the way I viewed faith for most of my life, but I’ve often kept quiet about much of it out of fear of how people, mainly Christians I know, would react. The first time I spoke[Read more]

Finding my soapbox

When I first started into the blogging world I was a dramatic teenager, pouring my soul out to strangers on Xanga and Livejournal, long before blogging was a ‘thing’. As a college student, I stepped out of my comfort zone and started publishing blog posts about things that actually mattered, though I can’t take credit for the sudden change. It was a class assignment, and I was doing what I needed to get my marks. When the school portion was[Read more]

This is when being a Christian is a struggle

As I sit down to write this, my hands are shaking, tears are brimming in my eyes, and I feel like my stomach hasn’t stopped churning. My heart is still racing; the remnants of an anxiety attack caused by the heartache I feel towards those involved and those affected by this morning’s shooting. Earlier this morning, a camera-man, a reporter and an interviewee were gunned down on live television in Virginia. The two employees of the station WDBJ were killed,[Read more]

Is there a difference between alienating everyone and living by our faith?

It looks like I’m off to a late start yet again with this… but it’s been a busy few weeks.   There has been a lot of talk lately, both internationally and locally about how the choices of the world are trampling on the rights of Christians. Between new sex-ed curriculums, gay marriage, abortion and most recently, a Bill being supported by Indiana’s Governor allowing businesses to exercise their religious freedoms by banning LGBT customers. People declaring that they should[Read more]